Warning: Open Vent may cause severe burns...or at least annoyance...
July 1st 12:34 a.m.

I just want to kick and scream, then start to cry and never stop...

...until someone comes and notices me and gives me a big huge hug and makes everything okay.

Today...well, technically yesterday...did NOT go well. Too much shit. I don't want to go to work tommorrow (again, really today) and I don't want to stay home either.

So...I had to escape. I escaped to the vapid world of "Ten things..." If you don't understand this, then click back and read the last entry I did. But when I came back, it all hit the fucking fan.

So...when I left, Linda was talking about how the internet was boring. Of course it's boring, compared to Gloucester and Jeff and St. Peter's! When I came back, she was gone. Why does this bother me? Because I am too fucking human, girl-like, and emotional for my own good. Did I go away hoping she would be gone, and knowing that I wouldn't have to talk to her? Yes. So, shouldn't I have been prepared for that? Of course. But, was I? APPARENTLY NOT! as the British say: "Fuck me!"

Oh, but then there's more. So, uh, guess who has been online for an hour and a half. I'll give you a three guesses (*hint: gay ex). Now, THIS, above all things, should no longer have an effect on me. But was I utterly PISSED and HURT that he hasn't IMed me? Hell yeah. And it'd be one thing if he had AIM or AOL 6.0 so he would have known I was away, but nope, he doesn't. And not only that, but he hasn't bothered to talk to me, one of his so-called "best friends" for um...I don't know...a month? Do I want to talk to him? Um...no, not particularly. Have I bothered to contact him? No, not really. Have I pretty much stopped thinking about him all together? yes. But am I over him? well APPARENTLY NOT! What the fuck is this?????

I blame this on over-emotion and well...PMS? (grr I hate that excuse...)

But uh...I need to go to bed. :-(