"I had a bad day...."
July 21 11:53 p.m.

I didn't feel like it was okay to be me today. I was disappointed. I was uncomfortable. I felt longing, and sadness, and wanted nothing more than to be held. I missed my mother, and kept seeing her where she wasn't. And my life is changing so much, and so quickly that it scares me. Two good-byes down, millions to go in the ever-changing world...but more realistically, so many for me. What happens when I get to the last one? What happens when I can't tell my roommate that I am into girls? I felt abandoned. I felt unimportant. I felt dirty. I felt hot. I felt sunburned. I felt uncool. I felt frustrated. I felt irritated. I felt LONGING.

But overall, let me restate:

1) I didn't feel like it was okay to be me today, and...

2) I don't know how to deal with the change. Today signified something. I have known that nothing will be the same by September, but I can not accept certain changes just like that.