Loving Linda
August 6, 2001 12:12 a.m.

So, Linda knows everything, pretty much, now. I am supposed to feel good for telling her the truth, but I don't. I feel like I have put myself out there, vulnerable to her, and that she has done nothing to deserve this. But I had to do it. Heh heh, you know why? Because I couldn't stand the thought of her being mad at me if she didn't have any concept of what was really going on. She obviously didn't. And I couldn't let her go on thinking that way about me. It was selfish. I spent all this time trying not to tell her what was really going on in my head, thinking that to tell her would be selfish, and in the end, that's all it really came down to. That's all it ever was. But is that a bad thing? Is it wrong that I was selfish here? I don't know yet. I guess we'll just have to see how it goes from here.

The only thing in there that reeeeally irked me was this. She told me that since I'm a fab 5, I should be sharing everything with her. How does that work? Is that a rule? That everything I go through, she needs to go through. No, it doesn't work like that. Lately things have been bad with her. She hasn't done anything to prove that she's even worthy of me. She has no idea what she has, really. Yet, I continue to love her. And she continues to call me all her little pet names.

So, I don't know. I think I'm done with this. I'm done with dealing with any of her that I don't want to deal with. Hahaha! right...