Goodness
2001-08-06 8:10 p.m.

"There would be psalms sung by a choir..."

I'm listening to a mix of matchbox twenty, Tracy Chapman and Save the last dance on my stereo.

I love the way I feel right now. I love it. Physically, I feel so incredibly comfortable. Emotionally, I feel very deep, very affected, very eager to get inside myself, and get inside of others and cry and see the world. It's nostalgic, and warm, and LOVING (I wish I knew how to put things into italics...that's what I was going for--if anyone reading this knows, please sign my guestbook and tell me!)

The physical part...do any of you know what I mean? When you just like the way your whole body feels? Man, it's good. For me it's this tired, comfortable, warm, but not too warm, comfortable, feeling. I'm tired from being at the beach all day with Ellen. But it's not in a way that I would want to sleep, or a way that I would want to just collapse. It's like the sun came in and took out all of my energy in exchange for this wonderful warmth and comfort and emotional beauty.

I am sitting on my bed, very clean...man I love being this clean. My hair is still very wet, and it's falling down my back with it's usual familiarity. I am wearing the most comfortable black flannel PJ pants ever made and I black tank top with a built-in bra (totally the best kind). The heat from my computer was beginning to bother me, sitting on my lap, but I have just fixed that problem by unplugging it. It doesn't generate heat on battery, I discovered yesterday when I went to Bethel with it.

But emotionally, I really want to talk. aaah, I feel gooood.