Jenn's in COLLEGE!
Sunday, Aug. 26, 2001 23:06

A sudden chill...or is it thrill? or maybe a little flash...well some little piece of affected-ness and excitement has just passed through my body. Upon reading Jenn's away message (it's gone now) I realized that SHE IS AT COLLEGE. She can hang out in dorms! Whoa! This is a girl that I went to school with from the time I was like....well, only 11, not too impressive...but STILL. She was in my graduating class! MINE! And now she's in Ohio, off on her own, meeting guys, hanging out in people's dorms. Man...That's gonna be me in like 20 days or something like that. We're growing up. How exciting is this!

If you haven't noticed, my thoughts on college change daily, but the most commonly thought thought that I have is: I'm not really going to college, am I? Yes, folks, it's complete disbelief. I have trouble being realy excited about something that I don't understand is really happening. Not to mention the constant bouts of being scared shitless . So...yeah. Right now I'm damn excited!

Ryan's pissed at me. If I weren't so cranky, PMS-y, and frustrated with her in the first place, this would most certainly bother me, but today was not the best of days for my temperament. Work sucked. Nothing about it really sucked except the fact that I was in men's and men suck when they're shopping...and you know, most of the rest of the time. It wasn't so bad really, I was just really irritable. I almost cried. Gena "talked" to me about something I had done wrong, then Lynn "talked" to me about making a customer wait because I was being "talked" to by Gena when I should have been covering the fitting room. Right. I was so frustrated and pissed.

But, this is breaking my constant refusal to bitch about, or allow work to affect my mood when I am home. It was more like letting my mood affect work today though. I was cranky.

Now I'm not so bad. Like I said, excited about Jenn, someone so close to myself at school already.

Oh, and then there's the fact that I learned how to make italics. Yay! Who noticed? Come on people...why didn't anyone tell me how to do it when I asked a while ago? I didn't realize it was this easy!

Anyway...so, tomorrow I'm going shopping in Bangor, gonna spend lots of money, come home with lots of stuff, and hopefully more knowledge of why Linda loves Nick so much.

Until next time...eee! I'm going to college!

...yet, even now, I can't feel it. It's hard to feel something like this that I can't even imagine living. I can't. It's just not something I have experienced. I don't like anything I can't fully think out, picture out, act out in my head ahead of time. I'm anal. I have to know how everything's going to look, how everything's going to be, what's going to happen and when...I'm just that kind of person. If I have to plan something ahead of time, I have to know these details. If it's spontaneous, then fine, cool, whatever, but I need details for things I know are coming.

Okay, I'm really gone this time...really...I AM!