Fighting on an excellent day
Saturday, Sept. 08, 2001 00:33

I totally need to buy a gold membership. After trying all day to put a banner on my diary, I've discovered that it's not possible. Should I have known that? Probably...but who reads all that extra info anyway.

I was in a good mood. Now I'm irritated.

I'm fighting with Linda I guess. Wonderful. This is just what I need right now. Tonight I shall make a valiant attempt to make it better. It most likely won't work. With her, it's IMPOSSIBLE. The only way for me to get past fights with her is to say forget it, and just make it be good again. Nothing ever can or will be resolved because she is too defensive. She's the most frustrating person to deal with stuff with. If I have any problem with her at all she will chock it up to me being a girl and being pissy. She will argue to the death and will never give in to ANYTHING. Even if I'm not really pissed at her to begin with, I will be by the time I get done telling her what's going on. Heaven forbid I tell her something that's bothering me. That's one of my biggest pet peeves with people in the world. They are alltogether too defensive. If someone has a problem with something that I have done, even if I didn't do it on purpose, or I have an explanation that seems to kind of work, I don't argue. I've had moments where I thought I was going to CRY because it was so hard to not argue. It's DAMN hard sometimes...I'm not the type of meek and mild person that succumbs to whomever...No, I get very argumentative, passionate and pissed...but in a situation like that, I don't think it's appropriate. So I suck it up. If I've done something that bothers someone it is my problem. And that's one of my biggest issues with Linda. She doesn't blame herself. She pretty much tells me that I can kiss her ass, and that's it. It doesn't bother her that I'm upset with her, or frustrated with her. And it's frustrating. I happen to believe that it's the person who is upset that gets to decide if the reason for being upset is valid or not. Feelings are very valid...and it'd be fine...if she'd just hear me out.

All I want with her right now is something that feels good. I just want it to feel good! Is that so awful? I think not...I just...I need her. I need her very much. More than I'd like to. And I'm leaving. This is my last week at home. And I don't want to be fighting. I just want to spend time with the people I love. That's it...not so hard...

Today was good other than that though. I spent 3 and a half hours with Floyd today. That woman is wonderful. I will miss her. But I think Maggie and I might come visit her after Columbus Day. That'd be fun.

Tiff came over and we watched Love and Basketball....not bad, I guess. Tiff is always cool...I meant the movie.

Good Day overall. Just don't want this to get long and boring.