Feeling Bad
Tuesday, Sept. 11, 2001 22:59

I think I had to have just had an overload on good feelings. Because now I really feel like shit.

Or actually, I have a better theory. I am filled with TONS of emotion right now. Every gland in my body is producing extra hormone material because there is so much going on around me that it doesn't know what else to do. So, there for, when a good thing happens it makes me happier than I normally am, but when something even the slightest bit negative occurs, I feel trampled and awful. I guess for the past few days I was just lucky, and now it's all crashing down. I feel so sad right now. I just want everything to be cooperating with me and making me happy...but it's simply not. I'm sure that's most of the reason that my most prevalent emotion from the terrorism was anger. It was disrupting ME. Heaven forbid, right?

I'm not usually like this, I promise. Im not...it's just that SO much is going on right now. I need things to be about me. Man...the concept that Linda isn't running and scraping to find the time to spend with me before I leave is too much for me to handle, I guess. It makes me want to cry to think that I'm not going to get to have this amazing, meaningful good-bye with the person that's most important to me right now. FUCK, Aaron just said good bye to me...he has other shit to do, and I started to cry. Stop this! Stop! I just can't...I...

I can't even make myself be excited about dinner tomorrow. I just want to cry. And...I feel like SHIT. I've offended people left and right today. Go me! No...more like Fuck me.

And my canker sore hurts. A LOT!

And this guy I talk to online is telling me about this game he has for his computer. It came out pretty recently, and in it, you blow up the world trade center and the pentagon. Interesting. In the game, it's soviets that do it. Isn't it just wonderful how we label people? A kid could play that and grow up thinking that Soviets are evil. That's how life should be...yeah.