Tomorrow
Wednesday, Sept. 12, 2001 20:04

Feeling bad and good and sad and wonderful and overall...emotional. I'm scared out of my MIND. I'm hurt beyond belief. I feel more loving than I ever remember feeling. I'm excited, but incredibly nervous and awful also.

Dinner with Floyd was good. Very very good. But...I'm kind of sad now. Kind of is really an understatement. My emotions are all messed up and all over the place. I want to run to Linda's and hug her and love her ane be loved back. That's what I want more than anything right now, but it isn't happening tonight, or for a long time it seems. Tonight is my last free night. Yeah, I'll see her Friday after school...but I'm dying my hair with Katie later, and Sat I'll leave before she gets up. Tomorrow is Tiff. And I'm happy about all that! I really am! But I wish tonight could be my night with Linda. She has HW to do...so I will see her briefly. She's burning cds for me.

Maggie just signed on, but I'm leaving soon, so as much as I would like to talk to her, I won't right now. She knows that I kind of want to talk to her I think, so she'd IM me if it was conveniant to talk, I think.

Tomorrow, tomorrow...tomorrow is another day. And heaven only knows what will happen, what will be causing waves in my turbulent little sea. Or maybe I'll just sail along in the calm and get stuck in the middle due to the lack of breeze. And maybe I won't mind, because I'll be content. But I doubt it. By tomorrow I'll probably be unable to eat....just feeling sick all day.

Right now my Mom's at a church service in memory of yesterday's tragedy. I would have liked to go, but I didn't get home in time. And that's fine with me. Talking with Floyd was good, necessary and cleansing in a sense. So...now I'm just waiting for the okay, and then I will trudge on over to Linda's and make the best of a few minutes with her.

I just want to fall asleep cuddled in the arms of someone who cares. I want them to hold me and cry with me and say good bye.

"Good bye to you. Good bye to everything I thought I knew. You were the one I loved, the one thing that I tried to hold on to.

I used to get lost in your eyes, and it seems that I can't live a day without you, closing my eyes, and you chase my thoughts away to a place where I am blinded by the light"

~"Goodbye to You" Michelle Branch