Packing, a fish and a prayer
Wednesday, Sept. 12, 2001 12:18

I've been packing. Ugh. Now I'm hot and sweaty and I smell. And the country I live in is falling apart.

What a glorious day!

Ha.

So...it looks like we might just barely fit all of my stuff into the car. I'm still a little worried. I'm worried in general. The world is an absolutely crazy place. It's scary and mean out there...and people wonder why the concept of leaving my comfortable home, with my wonderful friends is so...scary. First of all, it's a city. I'm moving to a city. It's a wonderful and glorious city, yes, and I love it, yes, but it's not Piedmont, South Dakota (*note- I don't live in Piedmont, SD). And it's not high school. And it's not my world...yet.

So, I feel like I'm gonna puke. And hopefully dinner with Floyd will help. Man...I feel squirmy and unsettled. And...*sob* am I just a big wuss? Why can't I just be excited?

...perhaps because I keep thinking: "what if Boston is next? What is this is a symbol of the future of the country? What if dubya screws things up even more?" I'm not totally heartless. But I'm more frightened, angry, and disturbed than I am sad.

I think my goldfish is dying. He just kind of stays on the bottom, poking at the rocks a little, like he can't really do anything else. I feel kinda bad because even if he does live for a little while, he's NOT going to make the trip to Boston. And he lives with a betta. I've had decent luck with the goldfish-betta combo, but when one goldfish dies and is replaced, the new one doesn't exactly get a warm welcome, in my experience. Not as though I blame the betta though...jeesh, I'd be pretty bitter and angry too.

I used to take the time to pick out names for my fish. Right one out the three has a name: Sonata. Sonata is a beautiful deep purplish blue betta. I also have another betta, but he is nameless. I was very pleased to hear that Kristen likes fish too. Fabulous! we'll have a little fishy haven. She also likes to decorate. She's got tons of stuff to put up, as do I, so we'll have a lively room, at least.

I wish I could go back to Gorham...I want to see Aaron's room now, but I really can't. He is coming home tomorrow, and I'll see him Friday, but...yeah.

and please, God, save the U.S. right now from all the hate, all the hurt and all of the fear. Calm our hurting bodies and our hurting souls. Show us that there is a rainbow after this unthinkable disaster. And please, just be there. Let us know that we have something to lean on. Allow us to open our hearts and see that they can be filled. Thank you for creating this world, in all its infinite beauty, for creating people with the ability to think and feel. Thank you for all that you've given us, and thank you for loving us when we deserve it the least. God, we need you today, each in our own individual ways. Help us to band together and draw on your strength to heal the nation's wounds together. Amen.