Etheridge and Relationships
Friday, Sept. 26, 2001 00:12

So today's major emotional response has been ANGER. This was caused by a common source of bad feelings for me (another emotion), JEALOUSY. Yes, I am jealous, in general, and yes, I know how awful and obnoxious this is. But Tiffany and Ryan are going to see Etheridge! What the hell is this??? I am way more of an Etheridge fan than either of them are. Tiff like Etheridge a lot, I know, and if I had made the plans to go, I'm sure I would have asked her to go too, but I've never even heard Ryan mention Etheridge. So, that makes me jealous. Not to mention the fact that Tiff didn't ask me first, knowing what a fan I am. I know that I live far, but damn, I'm not that far! I feel like they are already starting to forget about me! And I would have had to be asked to go. It's not like concerts in Portland are advertised in Boston...jeesh. So, now it is my goal to FIND a way to get there. It's going to be rough to get tickets, but damnit, I'm going to TRY.

Other than that, I feel lonely. And I'm a little frustrated. I wish that Kristen and I talked. I really want to talk to her, but I don't know how. She's not really receptive to anything I say at all. I feel like if I ask her questions, she'll just be annoyed, or I'll be interrupting her. The only time I really see her is here at night, and she's usually doing HW or talking to people online. So...I don't know. I'm at a loss.

But in other news, Lauren and Kim are cool! They are fun to talk to!

I got into the chorus, which is super good. We like to see this happen. yay!

I can't WAIT for people to come stay with me. And I can't WAIT for Columbus Day weekend. Very good, very exciting. I think I miss both Maggie and Floyd the most of anyone. They are both so wonderful! And I miss my friends as a whole, but not really any individuals more than any other. I don't miss my parents at all yet. And I'm sure they'd be crushed to hear that, but...I knew I wouldn't. I don't want to be home. I just want people close to me to be close to me. And my parents aren't that close to me.

Let me talk about that for a few moments. My parents are not close to me, because they don't allow themselves to be. That's it. I love my mom. I would tell her everything there is to know about me, but she doesn't want to know. She doesn't sit down with me and we certainly don't talk like that. So...I don't tell her. Because she doesn't make me feel like I can. My dad on the other hand. We don't get along, and I shall leave it at that.

I have an 8 'o clock class tomorrow. That means I should be sleeping, but I'm not. I'm not tired. I've got stuff running through my head, and I don't want to be sleeping quite yet. So, tomorrow I will just have to be exhausted.

I want to make some new friends. I want to have tons of friends like I did at home. But I guess it really does take a lot of time.

Patience Emily, patience!!!

And other than that...

"Come on baby, let's get out of this town, got a full tank of gas, the top rolled down. There's a chill in my bones, I don't want to be left alone, so baby you can sleep while I drive...You know I've seen this before, this mist that covers your eyes. You've been looking for something that's not in your life." -Melissa Etheridge