National Coming Out Day
Thursday, Oct. 11, 2001 17:12

These last two days have been emotionally stressful. And seeing as how most of it has been relatively petty, I'm thinking it's hormonal issues.

Linda's going to Counting Crows tonight. That bothers me, because I'm reeally jealous. *sigh* and it wouldn't have been so bad except that she is a bitch. I'm not even going to explain what she did. It's not worth it. You just don't fuck with people like that. I'll leave it there.

Yesterday shit was going on at LHS. So I wanted to know about it. I imed Floyd and asked her some stuff. But, she had to go, because she was talking to Maggie. Wonderful. So I get blown off by both Floyd AND Maggie because they're talking. It's great that they were talking...but I wanted some peace of mind. And, Floyd was so blunt about it. I was just.....affected.

PLUS, I feel like shit. I feel like I shouldn't have introduced them. I'm SO glad that they met. And that makes it worse. They're both telling me their issues with it, and I'm secretly being a bitch about it....thinking bad thoughts. And then, reflecting on the whole thing and realizing that it was an awful idea. And then I'm feeling bad for feeling the way I do, and for being so damned hell-bent on them meeting. And although neither one says they regret it. I think Floyd might. And even if she doesn't, it has complicated things...and....ugh.

I hope neither of them read this. I don't think either of them reads it regularly anyway.

OK, um, then there's constant Linda stuff. We're okay, I suppose. But every once in a while I get this little piece of her in my head, and I just....need it. And it can't be there for me.

I need someone. I just keep thinking about how much I want to meet someone. How much I want to meet a girl...

Today is National Coming out day. I wish I had somewhere to come out of....or go out to. Nah, I'm still just Emily for now, rolling along the road of sexuality. But you know...SOME sexuality would be good right now. Whew.

I have chorus tonight. I'm gonna collapse. I'm not....in the right state. I'm emotional as FUCK. My parasympathetic nervous system needs to work faster. I'm still feeling the shock of Linda's little asshole-ish prank.

And I'm still feeling crushed by Floyd, Maggie and Linda.

And I'm still feeling...

I wish I could go to the NUBiLAGA meeting tonight. It's gonna be movie clips and stuff. Sounds most excellent. But alas, I must go to chorus, and probably fall asleep.

Then, tomorrow, I'm getting up to do work study, where I will get my HW done, and then taking the 4:15 bus to Portland, where I will hang out with Ryan and Tiff, and then see ETHERIDGE! Does it get any better?

Ooooh yeah. Take away all the shit, and it would be a lot better.