2nd entry for today
Sunday, Dec. 02, 2001 17:13

So...

Kim's band concert was a refuge today. For 2 hours, I didn't feel like I was going to start crying at any second. It's so hard. I want to cry. But I've already taken a shower, and that's really my only chance to cry.

I should probably be more specific. I really don't want people to get the wrong idea about why I'm so upset. But I don't want to elaborate. So, please, assume this is NOT about you.

Most of this has to do with feelings I have towards myself right now. Yes, of course other people are included, but I live with other people, so it's hard to exclude them.

And I hate money. I hate everything about it.

I want to be home. I want to crawl up in my bed, with dim lighting, listening to music on my own stereo, wrapped up in my own blankets, smelling my familiar candles, and just be.