Catching Up
Thursday, Feb. 07, 2002 12:54

I had just had a really inspiring conversation with Robin. We were talking about the internet; its uses, abuses, addictive qualities, and in general, the ruin of any semblance of a real "society." When I got my computer back from over break, I seriously considered not downloading AIM again. I thought that it would probably do me a lot of good. I still think that it would. But am I ready to give it up? Nope. Not yet. And not cold turkey.

I haven't finished developing a plan yet for what I'm going to do. But hopefully, in the end, my time on the internet will be severely decreased.

And besides. Robin's cool. And it is really good to talk to people, and feel like their equal. It's not that I don't feel like the equal of most people when I think about it. But when I'm in a social situation, I always feel like the odd one out unless I have achieved a certain comfort level with the people I am with. Usually I'm okay with Beck. Although, sometimes not when it is Beck AND other people. Katie...well, I am not terribly comfortable with her yet, but getting there. Christina, I love. She's adorable and hilarious. But still, I really don't know her very well at all. But the way that Robin and I talk is definitely very very good.

Yesterday I had lunch with a mob of people. I had only met some of them the night before, and the rest a while ago, but nonetheless, I didn't really know any of them well at all. That was the epitomy of uncomfortable.

I am listening to Vivaldi. Aaaah! :-) rapture!

Okay, now I will briefly touch on each of the things I meant to write about yesterday.

First of all, there is a certain type of chorus person that I can't stand. This is the person with the beautiful voice, who knows it, who shows it, but whom I am obviously better than musically. I hate these people because they sing loudly, and everyone compliments them. They are the people that will star on broadway, the people that will someday be famous, the people that will always get into chamber singers and other prestigious groups. But what about me? I have studied music for many years. My voice isn't half bad! Some days it is better than others. Maybe my range isn't great. But I have a really good musical knowledge. I know how to sing better than they do. I know how to sight-read. I learn quickly, I rarely make mistakes. And yet, I will always come in second. why? Why? Why? I understand that in solo performance, people want to hear the nicer voice, but in a chorus? come on! I would do better in chambers than she would! bah!

It has come to my attention that not everyone in the world knows Dona Nobis Pacem. What??? That is one of those things that flies in from outer space and crashes down the shelter that is built around me and my comfortable life. It's like Katie finding out that people don't know what Fuzzits are. It's such a part of tradition. How could anyone not know Dona Nobis?

I miss singing "In his Eyes" with Jocelyn sooo much! I was singing my little heart out last night, and thought of that. Aaah, that was good. We were good. Man...wonderful-ness, right there.

Chorus is getting better. Well, except last night. Now that we know the songs, they are more fun to sing. They're beautiful and spiritual and it sucks that people dont' agree with me and quit chorus because of it. Last night sucked because Kristine wasn't there. She's the only one left. All my other chorus buddies quit. Silly people! bah!

So, I think that was all I had meant to talk about. And this is probably getting long. So I will leave you with one last question to ponder: How can someone sit next to you at a rehearsal for 2.5 hours saying absolutely NOTHING, until you sneeze, and then she feels the need to say "bless you?" I never did understand the "bless you" phenomenon. I rarely, if ever, say it.