Needing to feel wanted
Sunday, Feb. 17, 2002 12:44

AstraJane27 (*this sn has been modified from its original version...no stalking of my friends!): i want to meal with you

This is good. This is Very good.

How often do people want to do something with me specifically? yaaay! it's a social victory of sorts!

AND, after spending all day alone feeling like POOP yesterday, Robin called me. And not only did we decide to watch a movie, but she was EXCITED to watch a movie with me. If only these people realized how simple it is to keep me sane. Sane wasn't a word you could use to describe me yesterday morning. I just want to feel like somebody cares if I'm around. I just want people to want to hang out with me. I'm a cool person! They just don't see it.

So, I am very very anxious to hear updates on this weekend's events from a multitude of people. I want to know what everyone is up to. I miss them!

I hope I hope I hope I hope I hope that Linda is indeed coming this weekend. Gotta have my Linda fix. She made me cry yesterday...a lot. I was going to save the tissue and send it to her, thinking that that would be sort of a thank you for the wonderful things she said to me. But that's rather...pathetic. And now, relaying the idea, I feel like an ass.

I had a strange dream last night. My mom was teaching a class here at NU, and I was her TA. This makes no sense. But for me, it was this major honor because TAs are grad students. So...I don't know. But it was interesting. I knew what the subject was too, but I can't remember it anymore. It wasn't something I was familiar with though, so I had a lot to learn. Very very odd.

I got up way too late. And I had no clean clothes, so now I'm doing laundry. It should be done soon.

I have gained SO much weight in the past 2 weeks. It is disgusting. I am sitting here in my chair feeling the fat on my abdomen. I do not like this. Time to be a little more careful and go to the gym more. bleh! Why can't I just be unable to eat again like when I first got back here 2 months ago. I swear that in those first 2 weeks back I must have lost like 10 pounds. And now it's back. And not only is it back, but I think it is more than I started with. :-( I don't usually care that much. But then again my weight doesn't usually fluctuate this quickly.

Okay, so the new goal: No dessert or french fries in the cafeteria this week. Let's see if this one works out better than my no internet goal.

I shall end now.