Mystery
Saturday, Apr. 13, 2002 18:27

I still feel like blah. I'm not sure why I feel like such blah, but I'm hoping that it will soon pass. After a day of writing, reading, and reading some more, I am finally starting to get really bored. I don't want to talk to people online. There are a few reasons for that. The first reason is that I am sick of it. I am sick of how dependent I am on the fucking internet. The second reason is that I'm a little sick of being so accessible. Nobody ever has to try to make an effor to find me and talk to me. So today, if they want me, they have a couple options. They can call me, or they can miss me. I'd almost prefer that they just miss me. That way at least the next time I happen to run into them online, they will give me the amount of love and appreciation that I deserve. Now, if only I could gather the will power to start disappearing for long periods of time. Hmm. Then imagine the results. Unfortunately, I'm probably wrong. The results would probably not be at all significant, since I tend to believe that most people are too wrapped up in whatever the heck it is that they are doing to notice whether or not I was online today.

I do wish that I had something to do. But I don't know what Kiki is doing today and she wasn't there when I called. Lala is off celebrating Dan's Bday. I wouldn't be surprised if Kiki went with. In which case, I'd be pretty disappointed that I wasn't asked to come. Although....ok, nevermind. I'm not going to add another condition to this.

When I'm bored, I often wish to be home. It's always nice to know that on a Saturday when I have nothing to do, my Mom is there to be Mom-ly and enjoy the fact that she has nothing to do. I've found that most of my friends don't like the weekends at their respective schools either. In fact, I think I am better off than them. My school is actually the least suitcase-y of all of my friends, except maybe Jenn but I don't talk to her much anymore anyway.

So, something strange is happening to me right now. I'm not really interested in broadcasting it to the whole world just yet. But it is strange. It's something that I never would have expected to really have any effect on me at all having a huge effect on me to the point where I am planning my actions around it, keeping it in the back of my mind, and making it into a big part of my life. The only person I've talked to about it is Aaron since Lala and Kiki haven't really been there for me in the past couple days. That I didn't get a chance to tell them is okay though because it's pretty silly. That they haven't been around is kind of a bummer.

I wish I had things to do other than homework. Ugh. I don't want to do homework. Why do I have no errands? Hmm, maybe I do have an errand. I need to buy a blank tape. Oh gosh, but if I walk by blockbuster, I'm going to want to rent a movie. Renting wouldn't be so bad. It's just that I want to buy a previously viewed copy of Original Sin SO badly, and if they have one, then I'm going to want to buy it. And I can't afford to do that. Ilch. Okay. So, if I go to buy a blank tape, I can NOT stop by BB.

Hmm, I wish Robin wasn't going to her aunt's tonight. I really would like to do a movie night. Eh, oh well. There's always next weekend, I suppose.

Oooh, just had a disallowed thought! Go away!

Sorry...I'm spastic. Wait, no. Actually I'm not spastic. I wish I was though. I like the days when I'm feeling energetic and spastic. Those are good days, when I feel good...in contrast to days like those of late, where I feel like a big huge disgusting lump of fatty flesh.

La La La La.....

I've done enough writing lately for like 10 people between LJ, DL and my real journal.