My life, Superficially
Sunday, Apr. 28, 2002 10:14

I want to be writing about some really interesting and/or emotional things...about important things. But it's the same as on the phone. Whenever anyone asks me what's going on in my life, I can never think of anything to say. I'm closing up, and I'm not entirely sure why. I feel like I can't talk about my feelings with people anymore. There are very few people that know anything about the most important things that are going on in my life. And I don't really like it like that. Things have been weird lately with friends. There hasn't really been anyone here at NU that has been interested in what I have to say anyway. Then, there's the added bonus of the fact that I'm a little bit ashamed of part of what I want to say.

But I guess there are a few things that I can still say. Firstly, June is going to be a crazy month. It's obviously the end of school, the graduation of several people that mean the world to me, and an overall time for transition. I'm going to return home, to fend for myself with my dad. I'm going to get back some of the freedom that I feel like I've lost since I've been away from Maine. And then I'm going to lose some of the freedom that being away from home, and in a place where so much is possible has afforded me. That sentence sucks. I'm not changing it. I am going to have to start working again, making myself crazy. Blah. But, in addition to all of the natural change that occurs with the beginning of summer, I'm also going to to concerts with Tiff. Let me introduce them by saying that as of June 20th, I will have seen 3 of the most amazing women in the world within a span of 3 months. Ani Difranco was April 5th. On June 5th, I have tickets to see Alanis Morissette (eee!) and June 20th I have tickets to see Melissa Etheridge (*orgasm*). So yeah. It's going to be nuts.

Amanda is home now. Things with Amanda are soo disappointing. She never talks to me. She never has anything to say. I just want her to talk to me! She's the one that never ran out of things to say. She's the super talkative one. But lately, there has been silence on the phone. It really sucks. But she's home because her sister is in the hospital. I was kind of torn on whether or not I should tell people, because she obviously hasn't told anyone yet. But Ryan knows now. I just talked to Tiff on the phone but I didn't mention it. I don't know if she plans to see anyone, since she's home for personal family reasons. So, well, Tiff will know now. (sorry I didn't tell you!!)

I smell bad. Yesterday was Earthfest. We made the walk (semi-long) to the esplanade (I like the word "esplanade") to see Garbage, Lisa Loeb, Midnight Oil and Bonnie Rait. Midnight Oil was awesome! I had never heard them before either. Oh, it was so good! Yay! And Beck was so enthusiastic. That made me smile a lot. I love feeling people's energy. I heart Beck! Unfortunately, we lost Lala, but we brought her donuts, hoping to make up for it. Yeah, so I'm really sunburned now (just my face though).

Yay! I found Ani mp3's of her WTC poem and of "My IQ." Now I'm just looking for "Serpentine." Unfortunately the WTC poem isn't as good as when we heard it. It's too slow, and some of it is a little changed, since it is a work in progress.

I had lunch on Friday with Katie. I heart Katie! There are some people that I just don't get to spend enough time with.

Speaking of not spending enough time with Katie. The OTHER Katie is coming to Mass Art next year!!! She called the other day to let me know! Yay!!! She can come stay at my apartment whenever she wants. That goes for the rest of you too! Come whenever you please! I heart you too!

I still want to watch "Mullholland Drive" again. I watched "Drop Dead Gorgeous" last night. I liked it. It was funny, ridiculous, a little break from my red-faced reality.

So, today, I don't feel like doing ANYTHING. But I don't really have any choice at all. So I will study....hopefully.

That's all I can think of to talk about. And it's not the important stuff by far. But I'm working on it.