Anticipation
Sunday, May. 05, 2002 13:35

Now that I've finally posted last night's entry, and spent a couple hours sitting around, I'm thinking it's time to write a little more. Right now I'm just sitting here, hanging out, listening to the "Fame" soundtrack, and realizing that I should have chosen a different shirt to wear today. The shirt I'm wearing is a yellow (soft yellow). I got it a long time ago. I couldn't tell you exactly, but I'm guessing it dates back to my sophomore year of high school. And it's been a favorite shirt of mine since then. Unfortunately though, it has been worn so much that it is on the thin side now, and my breasts look sort of deformed, or diseased or something because I'm wearing a textured bra, and it looks like it's my boobs that are textured.

Yesterday I almost bought about a hundred things. First, I was in the Virgin Megastore, and i was going to buy a full recording the "The Messiah" because I love Handel and I think "The Messiah" is truly a masterpiece. THEN, I decided against that, and thought I'd buy "The Clitoral Truth," a really cool book, I might add. But, I managed to talk my way out of it. Then, at Trident, I almost bought this magazine that had Angelina Jolie on the cover, but decided that there weren't enough decent pictures to make it worth it. Next was Newbury Comics, where I pondered buying a couple used cds. BUT, once again, I managed to convince myself that I didn't need them. Then we went to Ben and Jerry's and I bought and over-priced smoothie (since I can't eat their ice cream, sadly), then there the Japanese grocery store, where I managed to stop at gum. Hmm, so maybe that was it. But it's odd. I want all this stuff, and I decide that it would be a good purchase, make up my mind, and then think about the lonely $75 that is left in my bank account, and about all the stuff I have that I never listen to, or read, or whatever, and I end up putting it back. I think it's a good quality that I have. My excessive amount of conscience. Unfortunately, I'm probably not much fun. Maybe someday I'll find a common ground.

Today I went to wollaston's and bought a loaf of my favorite amazing sourdough bread. mmmmmm. That's my weakness. That's where all my money goes.

I just all of a sudden got this little pang and couldn't wait until May 15th. There are a couple of reasons why May 15th is a good day. One of them has to do with the date itself. It seems so far in the future. And it carries a meaning that I'm not going to go into. But the more specific reason is that my dad is taking me to the red sox that day. Oooh, I love red sox games. And I love the way my dad gets all happy and completely in his element when he goes. It makes me feel like I'm actually sharing in something that is important to him.

So, I've been looking at my stats these past couple of days and smiling. I'm getting a couple of unexpected visitors. And, wow, mmm, it's good that they're reading.

I love the Christian Science Park. I could spend hours just walking around in circles around the reflecting pool. Mmm.

I've been saying "mmm" a lot lately. I hope that's not becoming annoying.

So, I feel like once this week is over, the rest is this downhill slide into summer. (haha, what slide isn't downhill?) I feel like I've been anxiously awaiting certain dates, certain things, and after next weekend, it will all be here at the same time, and I'll just be living it. And we all know that anticipated things are the most fleeting, so then it will be time to go home before I know it. That's my theory anyway.

I'm not excited about going home, but I'm anxious to get out of this room, and to drive myself around, and to have money. And a change will be good. Plus, the sooner this year is over, the sooner next year will be here. And next year is going to be good.