soo hungry
Monday, May. 06, 2002 17:13

Firstly: I'm so hungry!

Now that that is out of the way, there are a few things that sort of strike me to talk about. The first thing is my complete lack of mood today. I'm feeling incredibly indifferent. It's a very blah day. i think I'm groggy from sleeping too much. And there are parts of me that are a little irritable and a little unimpressed by what's going on around me. So I'm tired (and hungry!) and my mom is really bad at talking online, so that was a pain, plus, I was trying to figure out how I am feeling about things with Aaron, and it's all just blah. But then, something good happens, in the midst of it all. Something so small and insignificant. It's pretty amazing when you spend an entire class (that you can't pay attention to due to the combination of its boringness, and your tiredness) thinking about one thing, doodling about it, imagining it, optimizing it, and then all of a sudden *bam!* It turns out that you find out that that person, that situation, was thinking about you too (yeah, situations CAN think, so shut up), even if not in the same detail, or the same depth. That's sorta what happaned. Okay, no, that's exactly what happened. And some kind words, and a pleasing turn of events has made me happy. And now I am thinking, hmm, maybe it's not so bad, you know?

The second major thing I want to talk about is my mom. She is my mom. I LOVE her. I think she's amazing. I think she's intelligent, loving, emotional, responsible, talented, and just a wonderful person. But I get so frustrated with myself in relation to her, and with her in the context of the depth of our relationship. I'm hungry for more (let's see how often I can use the word hungry ;-P). I want her to know about me, and I want to know about her. And because I talk to her like I'd talk to any of my friends, I forget that she doesn't know everything, and I almost say things that I shouldn't say. But they are really things that I should say, that I haven't gotten to a place to say yet. Uff. Lala and I went to see this movie called "A Family Affair." It was a hilarious movie. I liked it alot despite the bad acting and complete cheesiness of every scene that wasn't supposed to be funny. I laughed really hard. And Lala and I kept drawing parallels between the mom in the movie and my mom. As most people know, my mom is very very liberal. She's very open-minded. She is an advocate for homosexuality, and the environment, and human rights, and abolishing world hunger etc etc etc. She's great! And the mom in the movie is this insane PFLAG leader. I can totally see my mom becoming a lesser version of the character in this movie. I mean, there are aspects of personality that can't be changed, but still, man...yeah. That'll be my mom. Talking about things as "non-gay" instead of "straight", and making me into the more normal kid. Haha. Yeah. Lala and I had fun at that movie.

Um, I think there was one more thing to say. well, I'm officially going home this weekend. And I'm officially moving out of this dump on June 4th. But other than that...I don't know. Tomorrow I will be registering for classes for fall and winter quarters. uh. Okay, it is definitely time to eat.