Why Internet?
Thursday, Jul. 11, 2002 22:50

I'm back to the internet depressing me. The only reason to really be online anymore is for my diaries. Writing is good. For a while, I was shying away from writing online, and going back towards writing for me again in my real journal. I should do that more. But I like to exhibit myself a bit from time to time. okay, so maybe I like to do it a lot. The other reason I have for being online is talking to Lauren. I don't really talk to anyone else online anymore. I don't know...just doesn't do it for me.

So, my mom and I are making plans to go to camp on Monday. yaaay! :-D Maggie and Rita! woo hoo! Tom'll be there too. And I love Tom. Tom is Maggie's dad (my uncle). But I feel a little guilty about wanting to see him and Maggie at the same time considering her plethera of negative feelings for him. But that's silly. Because she wouldn't want me to change my feelings for her. He's a good uncle. She knows that. He's just been a bad father.

I don't have as much to say about that topic as I pretend to. I probably shouldn't have even written as much as I did about it.

So, Montreal. It's going to be such a short trip that I am not really excited, nor am I dreading it. I am not going to get to do or see much while I'm there. But if it sucks, it will be quick anyway. I wish I was going for different reasons and with a friend.

I'm making an Alanis mix tape.

"fill up your preverbial cup so that it does not always have to be about you."

haha, Lala cracks me up. She's sending me picture of women, talking about the hot ones. Being silly and horny :-) I'm not horny. I haven't really been for a long time. Well except for twice, but that was sort of provoked.

puppets *shakes head* (sorry, inside joke)

but anyway. Work was good. I was in a good mood, but it took a while to get there. By the end of the night I was singing and skipping and being very energetic and pleased. I was walking out to my car talking to myself about how I could be killed out there in the dark alone. Then i started to think about how I'd like to witness my death now, to see what would happen. How might people respond? But, I, of course, would not want to die. Then I looked up at the sky as I had the conscious thought of wanting to live. I looked up and through the streetlights I could only see a star or two. But it was enough. ANd it made me happy. Then, when I got into the car and heard Ani's voice...mmm...that's enough right there. Driving home with the window down under the pretty Maine sky singing my heart out with Ani. Yes, folks, life is indeed good.