The summer's emotional summary
Thursday, Aug. 08, 2002 12:11

A while ago, I had a huge urge to write a somewhat long entry, and I never did, and now I don't remember what it was that I was so intent on writing about.

I got my diary reviewed by diary reviews. I got an 89. That's not great, but it'll do. They didn't like my rain. Do you like my rain? Do you find it distracting? Leave me comments. I don't want you to have to deal with it if you find it annoying. I don't read as often as you do, most likely. Please sign my guestbook tell me yay or nay.

It looks like starting Monday I'm going to be house-sitting for ten days. This is very exciting to me, but may not end up being as great as I think it will. We'll see.

This summer has been so emotionally strange. I have gone through all of these massive mood swings, and it is just driving me crazy! There does seem to be one common theme though, being here, at home is slowly driving me into an incredibly irrated, depressed frenzy. It isn't even work this time. Work is going okay. And my parents and I are getting along, so it isn't that. It's just that nothing is working out for me anymore. I am rarely enjoying myself. And when I do actually enjoy myself, it is because of a few completely irreplaceable people (Tiffany, Serena, Maggie, Floyd, My Mom, Niki and few times). And it often has to do with Bethel. When I go to Bethel, I am usually in a very good, very peaceful place. And then I come back and am shocked back into this world, like being thrown into a wall of water.

I talked to Aaron the other night. Maybe that's what I wanted to write about. We talked for about three hours. Then, after that I couldn't sleep. So for the third night in a row, I didn't get any sleep and was fairly dead the next day. Talking with Aaron was really painful for me, especially at first. I hadn't cried for a long time, and I just bawled. I couldn't help it. He hurt me so much. And we argued. And that was painful too, because I was hoping that someday we'd get past those stupid little feuds. But eventually we just got to talking more easily about various other things that had happened this summer, and it was okay. I don't know what is going to happen, but I feel much more prepared for it, whatever it may be. I guess I'll just wait and see.

Anyway, then I went to Bethel with Tiffany. We talked about some things that got me thinking. They are things that I've talked about with other people. But Tiffany had a different view. She tends to. And this is good. She told me something that she had talked to a friend about, and that, I'm hoping, will serve as a wake-up call, because it was completely unbiased.

I'm working on myself, and on my emotional health. I'm sorry that that last paragraph is so vague, but that's all that is important for you to know. The rest isn't appropriate.

I have to go to work.