Not a good way to come home
Friday, Aug. 09, 2002 22:41

It bothers me when bad things happen at a good time in life. I'd like to think that it bothers me because I feel bad for being in a good point while others aren't, but that's not it. I'm just a selfish whore.

I was feeling really good tonight. I had a good time at work. weeee! I was really energetic. I stopped by Hannaford on my way home, where Tiffany was working, and she commented on my energy and good mood. It really was good too! And it's because I sort of connected with someone tonight. And that's what life is all about for me.

I really do love people. I've been saying that for year, that people are good in general, but not necessarily on an individual basis. And for me, it's all about finding something in people, connecting with them, feeling them. What on earth could be greater? This is why I get so sad when people choose not to do this, when they either shut themselves up, or repeatedly choose other things over the greatness of connecting with a real human being. That's what life is all about!

And I can't be happy unless I'm making these amazing connections. That's just how I function. And I think that for a while, I was missing that. But tonight at work, I had a sort of disguised "moment" with one of the managers. I learned some things about her, and I think she learned some things about me. We laughed, and smiled, and it made me feel infinitely better. aaah.

But.

My grandmother is in the hospital. I think that she's going to be fine. She's having a bit of heart trouble (just like everyone else in my family...jeez, it's scary), but no heart attack or even severe pain or anything. She's probably going to have an angioplasty. But that's not really a huge deal, and I think she'll be okay. It is worrisome, and stressful though for the family, of course. She's getting older.

Sooo, looks like my house-sitting might be postponed. What an odd connection. My cousin is going on the trip with the person I'm house-sitting for (most of you know who this is, but I'm not supposed to be advertising it...), so they might not be going right away...just so they can make sure everything is alright. It would suck for them to leave and then have something bad happen.

Um, but I'm not real pleased. I need to learn to look beyond myself in situations like these. arg, I suck.

We'll see what happens.