People and Tears
Sunday, Sept. 01, 2002 22:04

I have a feeling that in the next two weeks everyone here is going to get wicked sick of hearing this, but: I cannot WAIT to go back to Boston. Holy shit...

I miss Lauren so much! :-( And I'm looking forward to hanging out with Beck and Jess and Casey and Katie and Sarah and EVERYONE! (even though I'm going to miss Jeff infinitely)

I can't wait to meet Nessae (assuming I do) and Theresa (again...) and the promise of the new year has so much to offer, so much coolness, so much more than anything here holds for me anymore.

hehe, Mandy's still reading my diary :-) this pleases me. Hey Mandy! What's up? I also like that now that people are back at school the IP addresses come up more interesting and varied. It's not just aol all the time.

I was almost in tears a couple times today. The first time was in church. I had been very angry all morning. Everything my dad was doing was driving me mad. And I just was getting crazy about how angry I was. And I was sitting there in church and not feeling anything. I didn't feel like there was even any point in being there at all. And we had communion, and talked about 9/11 and about so many things dealing with the problems of the world, and that made me more angry, to see how little passion the people around me had. It made me just overcome with emotion, and so terribly lost and confused.

The second time was in the car on my way to Bethel. It was something simple. My dad asked my mom to put it on a radio station because he was driving. She did. When she got to the station, it was the red sox broadcast, and it was going to a commercial. She had skipped over a Melissa Etheridge song going to the station, so I asked her to put it back. She gave me this lame response and wouldn't do it. So we were stuck listening to a commercial. And then the red sox. And I KNOW that isn't what she wanted to listen to. And something sort of struck me. I haven't been able to pinpoint why my dad's every action annoys the piss out of me, but I think I'm figuring it out.

He's so wicked self-centered (this isn't news). But I don't let him get away with it for me. I scream and whine and bitch whenever he tries to screw me over. Sometimes it doesn't help, but I don't just let it go. Well, my mom doesn't. My mom would bend over backwards for this man. She just sits quietly. And he does what he wants. And this bothers me a lot. I hate what he gets away with. I hate that he does that to her, and to me. And therefor, I think I'm just sensitive and naturally angry with him. Yeah, didn't take a genius to figure out. But anyway...