9/11
Thursday, Sept. 12, 2002 10:45

I have a lot of things in my head that I could talk about, but I'm thinking that, for your sake, I should stick to one major topic. I mentioned in my last entry that I might go back and say some things about September 11th. I think I'll do that now, at the risk of offending someone out there.

The events of september 11, 2001 had to have been completely and utterly horrific for every single soul involved. I can't even imagine what it must have been like to be on one of those airplanes, thinking I was taking a routine flight to Los Angeles, thinking that I'd flown a million times before, and hearing those voices in my head telling me that flying is much safer than driving. I can't even imagine the fear every single person on each of those planes must have felt as they began to realize what was happening, what they had become a part of. When they began to realize that they were going to die. I can't imagine what it felt like to be working in the world trade center when all of a sudden there was a massive explosion. I can't imagine being so close to what was going in that I didn't even realize that it was an airplane that had crashed into the side of the building. I can't imagine feeling so hopeless that I jumped off the side of the building. I can't imagine living in New York, being blocks away from the destruction, and realizing that not only was my city being destroyed, but not knowing who of my loved ones could also have been involved. I can't imagine the shock, the disbelief, the terror, the sadness. I can't imagine because I have absolutely no connection with the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001.

For those who do, I am infinitely sad for you.

For those who don't...I think this needs to serve as a lesson for us all.

I am one of the least patriotic people I know. It bothers me when I see American flags flying everywhere. It bothers me that since last year, you can't walk ten feet without seeing, hearing and breathing patriotism. Banding together as a nation to be there for those who have lost a part of their city, or a part of their family is a great thing. But rising up in order to take part in the "war on terrorism", to show the world that the United States is better than everyone else, to fill our childrens' heads with ideas about what it is to be Amerian is wrong.

I feel no more sadness, no more anger, no more fear about the attacks on September 11th than I do every time a bomb goes off in Israel, every time a 14-year-old is killed in a pizza parlor right in front of one of her friends, every time someone dies of AIDS in Africa, every time the United States flies over and beats the crap out of whomever they feel deserves it this time.

America is not great. America enfuriates me. The height of my emotional response to 9/11 yesterday was reading in the paper about Bush's speech where he referred to North Korea and Iran as part of an "axis of evil." The way that Bush has handled this country in the past year has made me feel ill, and entirely ashamed to live here. The way that everyone is rallying together to tell the world how great we all are makes me ill. Do they not realize how much shit happens here? How much violence? How much suffering? And more importantly, don't they realize how infinitely more terrible things do happen everyday in little countries that we can't even be bothered to concern ourselves with?

"We cloak ourselves in the great tradition, the United States of acquisition....America the free, wake up from your fantasy, the nation so divided it can't see that there's work to be done." -Alice Peacock

So, for me, September 11th is a time for us all to be there for our loved ones that are feeling the pain of loss. It is a time for us to remember that there are so many suffering people in this world that we need to remember. It is a time for compassion. But so is every single day of our lives.

In a country where a man can get beaten, destroyed, killed for loving another man, where nobody can admit that there is poverty and homelessness, where we are listening blindly to a man interested in inciting war and executing citizens, we all need to stop hiding behind our flags and take a look around.

I don't hate America. And yes, I acknowledge that the United States is a far better place to live than so many other countries in the world, but instead of just talking about that, I wish we'd use it.