Life Goes On and All-State
Friday, Nov. 01, 2002 12:21

I'm happy to see that people are still reading my diary. This makes me feel worthwhile. Well, in a way. There are many other things that make me feel less worthless than checking my bravenet stats, considering the fact that people could be reading with the express purpose of making fun of me or something.

Last night I had trouble sleeping. But it's okay. I feel fine now. maybe I should learn to be less anal. I should just not care.

But I was listening to choral music last night, namely music from All State 2000, my first all state. I really miss all of that high school music stuff. All-state was really good. And I feel really fortunate that I had that experience. It's so amazing to be in a group of people that share so much talent. And I can remember the way it felt when I first heard the sounds of the perfect music. So incredible.

I've been incredibly nostalgic lately. Sometimes I just wish I could throw every good thing from my past into a pool and jump in. I don't want to relive all that stuff, just moments. I want to re-experience all the little tiny things that made me happy on a moment-to-moment basis. And I want to be able to appreciate them in a way that I probably didn't the first time around. I remember watching "Life Goes On" and loving it. But I feel like I'd love it even more if I could watch it now, since it would remind me so much of my past and my childhood and my insane need for a "Becca" haircut.

Okay, i feel like i'm not concentrating on this at all right now. I'm just sort of writing the thoughts that I know I have been having without actually thinking them. So I'm going to be done now.