Seeing in perspective
Monday, Nov. 25, 2002 13:07

I'm having a rough day.

Yesterday I sort of crashed at some point. I was relatively bored, and I was sensing a lot of tension in the apartment. I hate it when there's tension because it puts a whole lot of undue stress on me. Then I found some things on the internet that upset me a little bit, some little unhappy surprises. I emailed Linda, and it wasn't an easy email to write. The entire day just drained the life and energy right out of me.

I woke up this morning before my alarm went off, and I felt really bad, physically. So I got up earlier than I needed to, and headed off to class, feeling incredibly heavy. The professor didn't show up, but that was okay with me. I came back here and read Linda's reply. The initial response I had included a few tears, and some frustration, but it's already wearing off, and I think it's going to be better. She set me free. And that's what I needed her to do. Now I just need to find the strength to fly away into something new.

I went to my second class, which cheered me up a bit. The professor is a really cool guy. We did evaluations today, and I gave him a really good one. Then I came home and watched "Felicity." There's so much fake girly romance in shows like that. I like that. Someday a cousin of that will be mine. Someday.

So, right now I feel tired. My throat is tired, and I am very heavy. I feel a little quiet today. And I could really use a hug. I'm dealing with stuff. And I'm going to be good. Life is hard sometimes, but mine is easier than some, so I'll take it. I'll take my perfect little life.