Life
Friday, Dec. 13, 2002 09:06

I don't even know where to begin with this. I slept better last night... not flawlessly, but better, and for longer. I got up at 7 still. But I was fine when I got up... energetic, alert, happy. So I went to see Floyd. I wanted to show off my new found Jersey girl. Too bad she won't let me TAKE PICTURES OF HER. :-P

Being at school was pretty crazy. I don't know everyone there anymore. And I feel funny when I see kids that I did know at one time, who don't really acknowledge me anymore. I sort of feel like an alien when I go to Lisbon High School now. But eh. I know more than they do.. their judgements mean nothing to me.

Floyd laughed at me. She referred to me as "cute." I am kind of offended. She won't tell me what she was thinking. She often won't. She just laughs, and I try to pry things out. Sometimes I can. I didn't have enough time today though. I feel like she's being pretty condescending. She told me that I was spoiled during my last days in Boston. I told her that I still am being spoiled. I'm just not sure how serious she's taking this. I wonder if she thinks I'm being silly. I'd like her to tell me because it's something I want to discuss with her. Granted, if that's how she feels, then I think she's really wrong. But I want to make her understand the place that I am in right now.

The place that I am in right now is really really good. I've had a perma-smile, except when I've been sick, or when sad topics have come up. People are making me happy. I feel like I've re-established some sort of healthy connection with the outside world. I'm not just happy because I can think about this wonderful girl in New Jersey that is thinking about me while I'm thinking about her. I'm happy because there's someone out there waiting for me, caring enough to come kiss me goodbye when she should be home packing, calling me more than anyone has ever called in my life, sending me quotes and thoughts and affection... But it isn't just that. I'm happy because I found someone capable of opening my eyes with hers. I found a connection that has renewed my perspective, allowed me to clear my mind of all the clutter, and see things the way that things should be seen. I feel like my mind has been revived, and my thoughts refreshed.

This is a really good thing.

Okay... I have some singing to do now.