Sex, sex is all around
Tuesday, Jan. 07, 2003 11:52

So apparently the latest concensus is that I'd be really good at giving head. This seems to be apparent in the way that I eat popsicles, and the fact that i eat so many of them. Apparently popsicles are irrevocably associated with sucking dick? I tried to point out that I tend to bite my popsicles... but it hasn't worked. I guess some people only have one thing on their minds.

Sexual stuff is everywhere right now. EVERYWHERE. It is entirely inescapable. Last night Lauren and I talked about sex and kissing. There were a lot of comparisons made between people. More so about kissing, because that's about all I can make comparisons with, but she talked about sex too. Conversations like that make me nervous, because I don't like the idea of someone sitting there discussing me. Nobody has ever sat down and told me that I am good at what I do. What if I just suck? How could I know? Who wants to be bad at stuff where intimacy is concerned? And who wants to tell someone that they're bad? Then, of course, there's the whole concept that if you're in love with someone, it won't be bad.

... I dunno. Here's where my innocence and lack of experience comes in. My lack of experience in EVERYTHING. I've never been in a functioning, or decent relationship before now. It's wicked new. It's really really good. But like I said, new, and different, and sometimes I don't really know where I'm going. I am sometimes afraid of messing up. And I don't know how to interpret things sometimes. I take things personally in life, in general. And I take them pretty seriously. And I don't know how things work in relationships yet. So I worry sometimes when I don't really need to be worrying. I worry too much, in general. I think too much. *breathe*

I'm being quiet about things right now. You're right. I haven't talked to anyone though, don't worry. Nobody has asked either though... even those who know that there's something going on in my head. And nobody has asked the questions... the questions I would have expected the nosey public to wonder about. Interesting how everyone likes to pressure Emily into hooking up with everyone and their sister, but when it comes down to my actual life, they don't want to be nosey :-) Oh well. It's all good.

I'll go back to my popsicles. ha.