abolish petty shit
Thursday, Apr. 24, 2003 10:29

Jess is going to New Jersey for the weekend. This makes me feel sad, for a couple reasons. In fact, there are some other related issues that are making me feel similarly sad.

First... I think whenever anyone goes to New Jersey, and I hear about it, I will feel somewhat sad, and jealous, and wish I was going. Because it's not fair that they get to go when I can't go. And it's not fair that they're gonna be so close to Kimi and I'm so far away.

Second... I used to hope and pray that Jess would go away for the weekend... like that weekend when I knew for sure that she was gone, and we pushed the beds together, and had all that space.... and how annoying it was that she'd not come most nights, but that I wouldn't know she wasn't coming home until I woke up in the morning and she wasn't there. So Jess is going away this weekend, and hmmm, it really doesn't matter. Tiff will be here... but we definitely have no great need for privacy ;-) .... although speaking of Tiff coming, I'm hoping this cold goes aawaaay.

Third.... Kimi doesn't have classes on Fridays now. And my first instinct was to be like "yay!"... and I can still say yay for her.... but it's not like she'll be coming here anytime soon.

On that note... I feel almost like I'm in the middle of a war. Why can't people just get along? I'm sooo tired of defending everyone to everyone else... on one side I have people that I love... on the other side I have people that I love. And things change so quickly, and someone starts hating someone else... and someone thinks that someone else is acting dumb... and someone gets angry and bitter and petty... And I am the one that hears about it, from both sides. And I don't want people to not tell me how they feel, I guess.... but sometimes it frustrates me that a person can laugh and joke with someone, act as though they're good friends, and then turn around and do nothing but bitch about every tiny little thing that the person does wrong.... when he/she isn't even really doing anything wrong at all. Everyone's bitching about somebody, something... I'm just frustrated. There's so much hypocrisy. So much petty shit... so many grudges being held. And I don't know people go from having fun and hanging out and laughing and getting along to loathing each other.... in such a short span of time. Damnit... is it necessary?

And you know... this kind of goes opposite to what I said in my last entry. Because here, I just wanna say forgive and forget. So somebody stepped on your shoe once... remember that you used to enjoy spending time with that person. And in my last entry, I was upset at how easily forgiven people are... in a way. But that was more about me... and being forgotten, and how the supportive friend is forgotten and passed over for the more appealing, though sometimes hurtful person.

Right.

Life is too complicated. I just hate it. And I'm a bit homesick today.