The truth of the matter
Tuesday, Apr. 24, 2007 15:58

I love the moments in which I am successful in turning jealousy on its head. If you think about it, the concept of being jealous of one's partner's attributes is just about as ridiculous as it gets. I find myself thinking God, why can't I be that interesting? Why don't I have her body? Why didn't I get to grow up like that? But, in reality, would I enjoy any of those things half as much if they were part of me, rather than being part of her? No. In fact, it's quite perfect to be partnered with a woman that I find endlessly fascinating, whose body I am inexorably drawn to, and who can share with me a family unit that I've always craved.

Therefore, the thing to work on (obviously) seems to be my own security: what it is that makes her so drawn to me. Or better yet-- why am I glad to be none other than myself? Perhaps that should be my next entry. I should sit down and document why it is great to be in this mind and body, then keep it here as a reference point for when I get stuck in useless moments of wallowing jealousy. I'll consider it.