I just finished perusing the movie listings for a romantic film that I could go see tonight. I'm craving the aching emotional feeling of being immersed in a movie surrounded by dark theater and nothing else. Unfortunately there is only one movie the fits my requirements and it had one showing today, at 11:20 A.M. Not even the Gay and Lesbian Film festival at the MFA is showing such a film tonight.
Seeing a movie or tv show alone is an entirely different experience than watching the same movie or show with someone else. Seeing it alone in the theater is one step up. When I'm watching tv with someone, there is something anchoring me to this world. I never fully immerse myself in it. i have two ideas for why this is:
I can never truly ignore the presence of someone in my company, and if I can't ignore their presence, I can't get them out of the back of my mind. And, if I can't get them out of my mind, I can't leave my mind completely open to anything else.
Or, I can never let loose without fear of judgement or similar feelings of self-consciousness. perhaps I feel silly becoming completely head-over-heels involved in a fictional story. I can never let myself feel anything so profoundly in the company of others.
So, now I will look through on-demand listenings and our small collection of movies in hopes of finding something to satisfy my hunger for fiction. It's not worth trekking to blockbuster (Reason # 139487 for why not having a car sucks).
15:59 - Saturday, May. 12, 2007
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a poetry reading - Friday, Nov. 30, 2007
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